


Dismay or Enslave You, It Will Set You Free

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Series: GatheringFiKi - 12 Days of Christmas 2018 [2]
Category: Poldark (TV 2015), Return to Treasure Island (TV 1996)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, And She Thinks He Is An Idiot, Demelza is Ross' Twin Sister, Jim Is Not At All Happy, M/M, Mages, Ross Did A Dumb Dumb Thing, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 15:53:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: Ross nearly allowed himself to be destroyed to protect Hawk's pack and Hawk is not best pleased.





	Dismay or Enslave You, It Will Set You Free

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the same universe as [The Night Fire Is Out In The Dark Burnin'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16271099)
> 
> _Pacáiste Gaoithe Fola_ means Blood Wind Pack in Irish Gaelic.
> 
> Written for the GatheringFiKi - 12 Days of Christmas 2018 on Tumblr

He shouldn't have been so surprised that Hawk managed to find him, even way out here where so many overlapping scents and the additional scent of decay should have scrambled even the Alpha's heightened senses. In fact, these things should have been a hindrance to the wolf, but they apparently were anything but. He felt the warm touch on his face and opened his eyes to look into the blue eyes that had always been his own personal prison. He expected to see anger or disappointment in those eyes, but he saw nothing of the sort there.

"Ross, Ross, look at me, come on, focus on me and my voice."

If it were only that simple. He wanted to focus on those things -- had always loved Hawk's voice and just looking at him. However, right now, all he could hear was the sound of Hawk's heartbeat and with him pulling at him like this, all he could focus on was the smell of Hawk... and his blood.

Wait, his _blood_? The blood scent should not be that overpowering unless Hawk was hurt and the blood was leaving some kind of wound on him.

"Hawk... you're bleeding." His voice sounded odd to him, like he had been screaming for days and he didn't remember any kind of screaming. What had happened when he was lost in the fog of blood lust and self-loathing that would make him sound so different?

"It's nowhere near what you're going to be doing if you don't let me get you out of here and then refuse to give me the answers I want."

Oh. Hawk was _pissed_. It wasn't something new. He had seen Hawk in a temper many times. The difference was this time Hawk was pissed off at _him_.

"It's not safe for you to be here, Hawk," he managed to say, forcing words from his pained throat. His words were still coming out strange and that was when he realized that his tongue felt odd and swollen. "I'm not safe for you to be around."

"Well, lucky for you, I don't listen to bullshit like that from you because you are known to sometimes make stupid ass decisions. Therefore, I choose to ignore them when you try to enforce them in any way."

Stubborn damn wolf.

Ross blinked his eyes again, wanting nothing more than to just close his eyes and rest. Why wouldn't Hawk let him sleep?

"Because you usually don't need sleep and every time you do end up needing sleep it's because you're hurt or have done something really fucking stupid. This time it's a damn combination of both!"

Huh. He hadn't meant to ask that out loud.

"Ross, I swear by all of the gods and demons in existence that if you do not open your eyes and do what I tell you to do, I am going to beat the fucking shit out of you!"

He tried, he really tried to keep his eyes opened and he even managed a few halting steps before weakness overwhelmed him and he was sure he felt himself falling to the ground. He wondered if he finally dying. Was that why everything felt and sounded wrong? Was that why Hawk's blood smelled so overwhelmingly strong to him right now?

"Ross! Fuck, no, don't you dare!"

Rough arms lifted him up and he felt himself being carried. While he was trying to make sense out of that, her heard voices arguing near him. Someone seemed to think that they should just leave Ross and get the hell away from this place. Ross agreed with them completely. The angry roar that shook things around them cowed the rest of the people there and left no doubts as to what the Alpha felt about those opinions.

Hawk was not going to leave him to die even though it would probably be safer for everyone concerned if Ross was no longer walking the earth.

"HE DID ALL OF THIS FOR US!" Hawk roared, the power of his wolf ripping through his pack. "HE DID THIS TO HIMSELF TO SAVE OUR LANDS, OUR LIVES AND OUR SOULS. WE WILL NOT REPAY HIS SACRIFICE AND HIS ACTIONS BY LEAVING HIM IN THIS HELL HOLE TO FUCKING DIE. IF ANY OF YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHALLENGE ME AND TAKE OVER AS ALPHA THEN YOU HAD BETTER DO IT NOW!!!"

Apparently, no one wanted to do that and for that, Ross was relieved. He didn't have the energy right now to call on any of his power to fulfill his vow that anyone that challenged Hawk for the leadership of the Pack would die at his hands.

"Idiot," he heard a growl near his ear and then they were moving again.

During the trip, he kept closing his eyes, wanting to just sleep, but Hawk kept snapping at him to stay conscious until they got to where they were going so that they could find out how badly he was damaged and what they needed to do to help him.

Help him? Ross didn't think that there was anything that could be done to help him. Something very bad had happened. He had done something horrible and it was probably why he was in the oubliette to begin with. The dungeon was used in older times as punishment for his kind and other supernaturals when they committed the worst acts imaginable.

That didn't explain how Hawk knew where to find him or how to get him out of the place. There was only ever a small trap door to drop the prisoners into -- and it was high out of reach in the ceiling once you were in it. It was often referred to as the Bottle to Hell for a reason. He had only been in one of them once before and it had not been able to hold him. This one was apparently different.

"You were just too damaged to find your way free -- if you were even trying to free yourself."

Oh. He was still thinking out loud and that was not a good thing to be doing right now when Hawk was already enraged.

Who did he possibly think could help him if he really was that bad off? He was the most powerful vampire and mage in the area ---

"DEMELZA!"

Ross flinched and his eyes flew open at Hawk's call. Surely he had not fucking summoned his twin sister to heal him? It would have been far kinder for him to just let Ross die in the bottle because Demelza would find more painful ways to destroy him.

"Still an idiot, I see," Demelza greeted him as he was laid down on the bed. Her voice shook only slightly. "Fuck, Ross, what the hell did you do to yourself?"

"He got into a fight with a blood mage protecting my Pack. He was overcome by bloodlust frenzy thanks to the fucking blood mage. He then attacked anything that was in front him, trying to get away from the things he was hearing -- namely our heartbeats. He almost bit me, realized it was me and took off in what I assume was an attempt to escape. He then destroyed an entire bus full of people, got taken down and broken by the fucking vamp judge and his pet executioner that just _happened_ to be passing through my god damned territory. He killed the executioner and the judge dropped him down the oubliette in the swamp graveyard."

Ross didn't remember even half of what Hawk was saying -- but he did remember slaughtering that entire group of people. He could still hear their screams and taste their blood and their fear as he tore through like the animal he was.

He felt a cool hand move along his forehead and his face. "Sleep, Ross. You're safe now."

"But no one is safe with me around."

"Still an idiot," his twin said even as Ross closed his eyes and surrendered to the darkness he had been chasing for so long.

*******

When Ross opened his eyes again, he didn't feel any less weak, but at least the shapes around him now had clear definition to them. He swallowed, his throat feeling sore but dry. He needed to find water or something to drink so he could get rid of the feeling that his throat was closing and he was suffocating. He sat up, but that was as far as he was able to get before a growling sound surrounded him.

"If you stand up I promise you that I will knock you on your god-damned ass, Ross Poldark."

"Hawk?" Yes, it was him. He could see his form coming into focus now, his vision coming back to him.

"Well it ain't the fucking tooth fairy."

Hawk sounded like he was still pissed off at him, and Ross couldn't blame him. He had apparently murdered a lot of people in his territory. He'd have no choice now but to leave -- even if Hawk had been adamant that none of the Pack would be allowed to harm him.

"Hawk, I know you're pissed and you have every reason to hate me. All I can say is that I am sorry for everything that happened and as soon as I'm able to move, I'll leave. You'll never see me again and your pack won't be endangered. I'll make sure to keep my oath of protection on them and your lands... just from a distance."

"Demelza's right. You are an idiot."

"Huh?"

"Ross, what do you think I am so pissed about?"

"I killed innocent people." He swallowed. "No, I didn't just kill them. I slaughtered them and tore them apart. I glutted myself on their blood and relished in the taste and the feel of it on my skin. I enjoyed it." He dropped his head in shame. "I've never... I've never done that before. Even when I was first turned I never lost myself like that."

Hawk sighed and pulled a chair up closer to the bed. "Ross, I'm pissed because you almost died and you were going to let yourself die. I'm pissed because you knew that the blood mage could destroy you and you still put yourself between me and my people without letting me decide if I wanted you to make that sacrifice. Which, I didn't know how bad it was going to be because I didn't realize he was a fucking blood mage until I saw what was happening to you. I'm pissed because even though I gave you a gift of my blood which included the ability to call to me when you were in trouble, you never once called for help when you were dropped into that fucking hellhole we found you in."

"I went against every oath I had made to you years ago when you first found out what I was. I couldn't call on you for help after such a betrayal."

Hawk growled softly. "Damn it, Ross, do you even remember everything that happened?"

Ross shook his head. "No... just the slaughter and I heard what you told my sister."

"I thought as much." Hawk leaned forward. "First, the blood mage let loose several twisted creations onto our gathering. I'm not sure what all he had done to them, but they were not any creature that I had ever seen. They were like twisted nightmares of the animals of the forests. I didn't get to look too closely at them because suddenly you were there between us and them. You did something and red mist started falling on the creatures and then like they all shared a mind, they attacked you en masse." Hawk looked at Ross and the pain in his eyes hit him in the chest like it was a weapon. "You disappeared, Ross. None of us could get to you or smell you. All we could see was this mess of monsters and smelled nothing but blood and decay."

"Hawk --"

"No. I'm not done. You were in pain when you came back into view after you caused some kind of explosion that threw them all off of you. I know you were in pain because you were bleeding and didn't even seem to be able to focus on me when I called your name. Yet, when that fucking asshole mage stepped forward and reached to grab me, you somehow got between us." He swallowed, averting his eyes for a moment before looking back at him. "I am not sure what happened next, but you were on your knees and you were _screaming_. I have never heard you make a sound like that, even back when..." He shook his head. "You were screaming and you seemed to be bleeding from everywhere. I was close enough to hear him say something about the pack and it was like you exploded. You launched up from your knees and your hand was at his throat, squeezing. You were still screaming and bleeding but you still fought him. You finally managed to tear his throat out and magic exploded through you. You hit the ground again and I thought you were dead. Your magic still had the protective barrier up between us and you two so I couldn't even get to you. Then you got to your feet, but you didn't look like _you_. You were paler than normal and bleeding and when you turned to us, your eyes were glowing red. The next thing I knew, you dropped the barrier, but had disappeared before I could react."

That was saying something considering how fast most werewolves could react and how much faster the Alpha was than even that.

"I was probably trying to put as much distance between us as I possibly could before anything went wrong that caused me to bring harm to you or anyone else in your Pack," Ross said quietly. "Everything is a red blur in my mind from the time he appeared at the gathering until... well until I was in the oubliette."

"The oubliette that you weren't even trying to escape from."

"I'm honestly not sure that I would have been able to this time, Hawk. Nothing about me felt right and I couldn't seem to move."

"That's because you were badly injured at least three times over, Ross. You were injured by the creatures, by that damned blood mage -- and then by the vampire judge and his executioner. It's no wonder that you didn't feel right. But even in that condition, you didn't even seem to be able to move to defend yourself when I found you. You didn't know me at first but you didn't even attempt to fight me." He frowned. "It was like you were completely detached from everything around you by that point."

"I probably was detached from everything around me," Ross acknowledged. "I don't remember a lot of what happened." He swallowed, turning his head away for a long moment before he looked back at Hawk. "I heard you tell Demelza that I tried to attack you."

"No, I said that you almost bit me. It was when you were trying to flee from the area after destroying the blood mage. You were hearing things and I could tell from the way your nostrils were flaring and the way your eyes kept flickering that you were probably hearing out heart rates and smelling our blood."

"Almost bit you, tried to attack you, the intent is the same no matter how you try to ease the words, Hawk."

"No they're not, Ross. Not when you had me close, could have killed me in your crazed mind set, but as soon as you smelled me, as soon as you realized that it was _me_ whom you were holding, you let go, turned and fled. You had no intention of harming me. Nothing inside you would have allowed you to do so. You would have impaled yourself before taking my blood unwillingly."

"I wanted to drink from you and I could smell you so close. It was so tempting to just bite but even then I knew that would be a betrayal."

"So you ran."

"I ran... and everything after that is pretty much a damned blur," Ross admitted. "I still don't remember a lot of what happened."

"You sister says that he tried to flay your brain to pieces. He apparently was trying to gain control of you and if he couldn't control you he was going to destroy you from inside your mind so that you would be in no condition to fight back, much less do anything to protect the pack. It wouldn't have killed you, but it would have made you pretty much a shell that he could make into his puppet and access your power to use it how he wished. That's why you don't remember anything."

"I remember the massacre."

"Yeah, we're not quite sure how it began, but we got there as it was ending. There was so much blood and the smell of death. You were tearing those people apart and you kept screaming. You sounded like you were in a hell of a lot of pain and you thought those people were more of the twisted creatures that had attacked you. You were in the frame of mind that you were still fighting against them and didn't know where you were."

"The judge?"

"We still don't know why he was in our lands or how he was involved in all of this. As I said, we got there when it was ending -- because he and his executioner or whatever were pulling you from the bus and they tried to wrestle you to the ground. You were still fighting and then there was nothing but blood everywhere and you were no longer moving."

"They neutralized me there?"

"They tried to. I found out later that they were going to kill you right then and there and for several moments, I thought that they had because I could no longer _feel_ you. The bond was just gone and when I tried to search to find it, everything was just empty." His eyes were full of emotion. "The three of you disappeared as we were watching the scene unfolding in front of us."

"How did you find me?

"I contacted your sister. She helped us do a tracking spell because she is tied to you by both blood and bone. She used the power of the pack to strengthen the spell and we were able to find the judge. He was happy to tell us that you were dead and that you had killed his executioner. Once we _convinced_ him to tell us where you were, we killed him to make sure that he wouldn't be a threat to you once we retrieved you."

"You guys killed a vampire judge for me?"

"You have killed several assholes to protect us."

"You could have lost members of your pack fighting him."

"You were worth it," Hawk said quietly. "You will always be worth it to me, Ross. I don't know how many other ways I can tell you and show you that I am not one to live without you. I'd raze these lands to the ground if I had to in order to protect you from any harm coming to you."

"But your pack, everything you've fought for, they should be the ones that come first."

"You are the only one that will ever come before them with me. But, they know that I have chosen you as my mate and they will honor that and treat you as pack just like they always have done."

"You risk a great deal when you do something like that, Hawk. I told you before, you have to focus on the strength of your Pack and I both understand and support that. You don't have to put me so high in your regard and your life for me to know that I am important to you."

"And you need to fucking stop undervaluing yourself in all things, Ross. You are important to me and that is the simple fact of life. You've always been my friend, my poet, and the one I love long before we even knew I would have a pack. If it wasn't for you, I would not be the alpha of the _Pacáiste Gaoithe Fola_. You are the one that put me here."

"You would have become alpha on your own without me eventually."

"After how many had died at the hands of Thrain? You gave me the power to take him down and take my rightful place. I could not have done that without you as you know very well what happened to Frerin and Thorin when they tried to challenge him and take the pack."

"I was not willing to lose you when I knew that I could give you all of the power you might need to draw on to beat him in the challenge."

"Yet another way that you sacrificed for me and never thought inform me of the toll it could take on you. You may be immortal and hard to kill because you are a vampire, but you are not completely untouchable, Ross."

"I know that, Hawk, but I can't help being what I am or doing what I do. I need..." He closed his eyes, cutting off the thought.

"What do you need, Ross? For once in this fucked up life that we call ours, tell me what you need."

"I need to know that you are alive and breathing. I need to know that you are safe -- that I can keep you safe. That was what drove me even before the attack that made me into what I now am, and I don't think it will ever change. I give you power and strength, but you give me strength as well. Knowing that you are out there somewhere, breathing free and not under the thumb of anyone helps give me light. Knowing that you are being the leader I always knew you would be helps me to face what I have become when it seems so much to deal with. Neither one of us looked to become what we are, but we now do with it what we can in the best way that we can. Helping you, giving you my power and my strength? That keeps me from going mad or turning into the kind of creature that I am terrified to become. When I help you, it keeps me anchored as close to the light as I can be, Hawk."

"Then let me be your anchor, but quit trying to do it all on your own. I will gladly keep you as close to the light as we can without you giving me everything that you are and have within you."

"I am afraid that I will taint or scar you with the things I am and the things I do, Hawk," Ross admitted. "You are golden and the representative of everything that is bright and pure in my world. I don't want my shadow to tarnish that."

Hawk snorted, and his time he moved up onto the bed with Ross. He placed his hand against his face and stared into his eyes. "I am not as golden and pure as you would have me to be, Ross. This life that we live, it changes us all no matter how we do our best to fight against it. Stop looking for a fight in every shadow you see and just be the one you always have been. Yes, you are a mage who was turned into a vampire against your will, but that does not define you. You do not need to keep making amends for being who you are and you definitely do not need to make my safety your primary focus. I find I do not hear the songs of my poet as much as I used to and I miss him. I miss _you_."

"You are my heart, Hawk, and my soul. You give my songs voice and I cannot imagine a world without you in it and I fear that I will one day miss some threat that I should have seen and you will be taken from this life. I cannot allow that as this world needs your light and your justice."

"Death will one day come for us all, Ross, and not even you with all of your power can neutralize every threat that comes at me or change fate at every opportunity. You need to start living your life again, as well. I know the dreams and visions haunt you, but I would rather face each day as they come and with the uncertainty that mortals face it with then lose what makes you _you_ to your plots and your plans to be the all-seeing and all-knowing when it comes to what _might_ happen to me. Life and love are both full of risks and you need to stop avoiding one because you are so focused on extending the other."

"I like it a lot more when you are running and reacting on instinct instead of logic," the vampire murmured.

"And I prefer it when you are running with me in the shadows or when you are strong and hearty and laying in my arms. You need to stop running from the emotions between us, Ross. We love each other and we chose each other long ago. I refuse to let you become only a shadow in my mind that I think of in memory instead of the one I can love and hold in the here and now." He smirked. "Love is not always easy, but when it gets hard, it can be rewarding as well."

"You're talking too much," Ross smiled softly. "I thought that I was the one who babbled on with no sense to be quiet when you are thinking."

"Promise me to stop throwing your life before mine like you do not matter and I will be happy to remind you what else I can do with my mouth."

Ross was quiet as he stared at Hawk for several long minutes. He knew that he could not make such a promise when he knew that if Hawk or his people were again in very real danger he would react to protect them first and think about his wants and needs later. Hawk had always been everything he wanted and needed and then they were thrust into these roles that they had never been prepared for.

"I will not make you a promise that I do not know if I can always keep, Hawk, but what I can do is promise you that I will try not to become the shadow at your side that is only focused on war and the safety of you above all other things. I will try to achieve balance again and be _with_ you instead of around you."

Hawk sighed but then nodded. "I can accept that and I will do everything I possibly can to remind you that you are so much more than how you perceive yourself." He leaned forward, kissing Ross gently, just a firm press of his lips before pulling back to look into Ross' eyes with devilment shining in his own eyes. "And in some cases, it can be a whole lot of fun to feel you _around_ me."

Heat flared in Ross' eyes and then he shook his head. "And they say vampires are evil... tease."

"It's not teasing if I intend to follow through with every hint or thought I might share with you," Hawk countered. "However, none of that will be happening tonight. You need to rest and heal. We gave you blood but Demelza said you would be weak and out of it for about twenty-four hours or so. She was able to use magic, the power of the pack, and blood to purge most of the bullshit from your brain and body, but the side effect of that was it makes your body need to sleep."

"So cruel to leave me all alone and wanting."

There was teasing in his words and Hawk was relieved to hear it. He hadn't known what kind of damage had been done to Ross' personality and psyche after the blood mage and the judge and executioner had finished with him..

"I will not leave you alone, Ross," Hawk said seriously. "Not now and not ever if I have my way." He leaned down to undo his boots and then stretched out on the bed next to Ross, pulling him into his arms. "Rest. I promise that I will be here when you wake." He dropped a soft kiss on the top of Ross' head. "I'll be here to watch over you and we can discuss _things_ when you are back to your normal self again."

Ross tried to protest that he was just fine and didn't need any additional rest, all he needed was Hawk but his body betrayed him. Even as he felt Hawk pulling him close and wrapping his arms around him, darkness was closing in.

Hawk sighed once he was sure that Ross was sleeping and ran a hand through the dark hair splayed over his chest. "I would raze cities and burn worlds for you, Ross. I hope that we never see the day where someone forces me to do that, but I will do it in a heartbeat. I won't allow you to destroy yourself or burn out your flame because you are afraid of losing me. I will make sure that you are looked after a lot more closely from now on."

He never again wanted to feel the panic that had raced through him when he was no longer able to feel Ross' mind linked with his. Believing that he had been killed and taken from him had lit a fire in him that would not have burnt down until he had destroyed everything in his path to get to Ross or those that had torn him away from him. Most would say that he should have been frightened when he felt that unhinged, but it had not frightened him.

If giving into rage and insanity was what it would take to avenge Ross's fall, then he was more than willing to embrace that and ride the storm that came with it.

However, that was a thought for another time.

His vampire was very much alive and in his arms where he belonged. He had slaked his rage on the vampire judge asshole for doing additional harm to Ross and he had managed to retrieve him from a prison that most said was inescapable. He felt damn well accomplished and he and his pack had learned just how far they were willing to go to take care of what was theirs.

He smiled and then rested his head against Ross', letting his eyes close. Demelza and the pack enforcer were outside and well on guard against anything that might come their way tonight. There was nothing he needed to focus on but the one in his arms and the desire to just... _sleep_ for awhile.


End file.
